I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize