I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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