I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
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Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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