Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
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Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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