im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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