Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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