tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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