How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize