Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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