Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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