giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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