maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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