connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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