I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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