just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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