i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize