i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize