We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
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I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize