I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize