Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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