If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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