Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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