just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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