You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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