Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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