just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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