Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
do nipples grow back?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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