i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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