its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize