Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
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Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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