Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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