Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize