im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the condom got lost in my hair
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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