Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize