i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just puked most of my soul out..
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