If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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