Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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