ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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