found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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