You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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