Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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