Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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