dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize