I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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