ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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