nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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