just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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