we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize