need another drink. this is the easiest way
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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