I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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